THE LATEST UPDATE

I've seen Andy several times since he's been in Pima County Jail.  But he finished the hearings and the disposition of his AZ case a couple of weeks ago.  I'm surprised he is still here, but we do get to see him easily enough so I'll accept it.  And when he goes back to Eloy, who knows if he'll get to stay and for how long. He does seem to be a different young man than he was two years ago.  He's clean, he's accepting responsibility, he's making plans for his life.  These are all good things.  I do get dark feelings occasionally, sadness for the choices he made and wondering why or what could have made the difference.  But I push those aside and remember the tender mercies he and I have been blessed with.  These compensatory graces show me that he is in God's care, and we are loved by merciful Father in heaven. 

Joyfully Delicious

In Alma 32 we read about "experimenting upon the word" by planting the seed of faith, nourishing the tree (the word), and waiting with diligence and patience, looking forward to the fruit that is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea and pure above all that is pure.

Andy was in California, then he was sent to AZ, off again within a few weeks to Oklahoma where he thought he would settle in for the next few years.  We got a phone call a week ago from him telling us he was being transferred again, but didn't know where.  On Thursday he called and said he was in Pima County Jail, just down the street!  When in the La Palma correctional facility the first time he asked me for names and addresses so he could begin to take care of unfinished legal business.  A hearing was scheduled and he was sent to AZ once again.  We were able to visit him on Friday for thirty minutes on a video monitor.  It has been almost two years since I have seen him.  And although via phone and a fuzzy video my visit with him was the fruit that is sweet, white and pure.  It was joyfully delicious.

The "word" for me was "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage ... And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light, yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord."

I stand as a witness that the Lord God does visit His people in their afflictions.  

Another Tender Mercy

The prison bus dropped Andy off in Sayre, Oklahoma to spend the next however many years, not Mississippi!  What a surprise! Still far away from home, but at least closer than the deep southern state.  I wanted to find out if there were any LDS services at the prison so I checked on lds.org's meetinghouse locator.  I called the Bishop of the nearest Ward to ask if he knew of any members who might have a prison ministry.  There aren't.  I noticed the town of Edmond, Ok on the locator.  I have a friend who lives there who just happens to be the Stake President.  I asked the Bishop's wife (he wasn't home) if the name of their Stake President is Kevin Graves. YES!  Sister Turner also told me there is an LDS guard at the prison who belongs to their Ward, and that my friend is Andy's Stake President!  Needless to say I've talked to my friend and he is going to do all he can to reach out to my son.  He is thrilled with the opportunity to fellowship him.  I remember when Kevin was in our Bishopric here, how tickled he would get as he visited the Primary and watched Andy, as a Sunbeam, crawl around me and under my dress when I would conduct Primary.  He knows my son, and he loves him.  What a sweet Mother's Day gift to me.     

A Little Rain Must Fall ...

We got a letter from Andy yesterday telling us he was being transferred to Mississippi on April 25th--a 39 hour uncomfortable bus trip shackled in chains, as he explained.  So he's there today.  My heart broke for him.  He sounded resolved that this is the way it is, but if I could read between the lines, I'm sure he feels a loss being moved from his home state. What makes me sad is he won't ever have any visitors in Mississippi; we could have visited here.  But after having a such a sweet tender mercy (the brother I met in the temple did visit with Andy in the La Palma correctional facility!) in the temple I have to trust and believe that God knows what is best for my son and His son.  

I've been thinking about something for a long time, probably more so since I've been volunteering at Superior Court. I have watched orange clad prisoners, handcuffed together, being led into court. They are there for a wide variety of reasons.  I look at those men and women and think about my handcuffed son wearing prison clothing in some remote prison far away from home.  Then I remember  the sweet baby I gave birth to.  He was pure, he was innocent, clean, perfect in every way.  Every human being came into the world that very same way.  I loved that baby, and I love the man he is now.  I pray he will be protected and he will soon understand why he is where he is.

A Tender Mercy

In March Andy wrote and said he was being transferred from California to either Oklahoma or Mississippi.  His dad looked on the California Prison website and read that Andy was sent to La Palma Correctional Center in Eloy, Arizona!  We kept hoping for a letter from our son to verify that he was sent there and how he felt about it, but no word.  I felt some concern, but can't really do too much about that except pray, of course.

Tuesday I was in the temple sealing office waiting to participate in the sealing ordinance for about 50 family names.  While I was sitting there a fellow was asked if he was still doing his prison ministry.  I perked up immediately.  Then he was asked where?  My jawed dropped and tears filled my eyes when he said, "La Palma."  I whispered to him that my son had just been transferred there.  He asked me for Andy's name and said he would do what he can to invite him to their meeting on Thursday nights.  The temple worker came up to me and said, "I hope you realize you have just experienced a tender mercy from the Lord, and that happens all the time in the temple."

That very day when I got home a letter was waiting for me from Andy.  He wrote that his window faces the southwest towards the Tortolita mountains near our home. Another tender mercy.          

 

A Christmas Gift

In 2005 Andy went to Hawaii with us.  I have a picture of him giving me a big hug in front of this beautiful waterfall on the Big Island.  He's not in this picture taken by me in October, 2011.

I miss him, but either I have put up a wall, blocked out that part of my life, or I feel at peace.  I'm not really sure, I just know I don't think about him in prison too often.  He is in every prayer I utter, but I don't cry very much anymore because he is serving time. Our family was given a neat gift this Christmas to help bring him back into my thoughts.  We were getting ready to sit down for Christmas dinner which was prepared and served a few days before Christmas because someone was flying out the next day.  The doorbell rang.  I answered the door, but for a few seconds didn't recognize the young man standing on the steps. Then I realized it was a kid Andy hung out with in middle school and years after.  Of course I invited him to dinner which he accepted.  We had a delightful Christmas dinner laughing and reminiscing about him and Andy.  This young man lives in Colorado and was visiting his family.

After Todd left I thought to myself, what are the chances of this happening?  Was he led by the spirit to visit us at that time on this very day? I believe he was because of the sweet thoughts and memories that were generated in my heart of my youngest son.  I am very grateful.   

The Reason for the Season

We get a letter from Andy about every two or three weeks.  He can't call us like he used to, even collect.  It's good to get letters from him, and I think it's good for him to write because it gives him a chance to think deeper than, "hi mumsy, hi pops!"  I don't miss his phone calls, but I do like to read his letters.  He is changing.  I can tell by what he says that he's beginning to feel remorse for what he has done to his family.  He's understanding that life is not just about him, but also involves that group of people he grew up with.  He admits the wrong we do affects and hurts others, especially those closest to us. I will not expect nor hold my breath that "he's a changed man."  Not yet anyway.  I believe that takes time, lots of it, and there hasn't been enough time.

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I visited Temple Square in Salt Lake City last week to look at the Christmas lights, oh, what a beautiful heavenly land.  My seven year old grandson said almost reverently, "Grandma, it is so beautiful." He could feel the Christmas spirit or rather the spirit of Christmas.  I could, too.  This is a picture from the outside of the visitor's center of the Christus statue. It looks as if the Christ is floating in the air looking down on His people. I know there will come a day when Andy will repent fully, and he will be forgiven by the Great Healer.  That is the hope I cling to.